souls have been lost and the panic grows

[phototraces]

[That... that was hell, actually. Wendy didn't like that at all. After the trial she... has to head to the kitchen and hopefully not find clay shit everywhere. She needs to do something to keep things under control. To keep things going.

She's not a great cook but she knows the basics. Meat. Bread. Cheese. Something warm for the belly to drink. She's nervous when she works but she's relentless. There's no asking for help from her as she makes a spread for everyone. Then... she's moving all of it not to the eatery but the bonfire.

Making makeshift tables around it and placing trays of food and drink. Even setting up a chair for Alex a good distance away from the fire but close enough that he can be part of things if he wants to.

Wendy, with her careful writing, writes up some notes and hands them out to everyone if she can find them or if not under their door.

Food at the bonfire and the area around it. Attendance not mandatory but it's probably better for all of us if we stick together. Bring more food and drink if you want.

Wendy

...She can't control other people but she can try to suggest.]

Comments

[markofnobility]

Alex... I know, I do. I was... being defensive.

[He drags his hand through his hair in a clear nervous tic]

Everything back home is... on a knife's edge exactly due to the kind of petty self focused actions such thoughts can lead to. Hearing everyone talk like there can be nothing better... I lashed out without thinking of the greater context.

[rockymountaindie]

You barely even lashed out, man. I've seen a lot worse.

...I want it to be better. I really do. I don't think... Just 'cause the world's shit doesn't mean we can stop trying.

[markofnobility]

[he nods firmly. His words stern and confident.]

We can NOT stop. And if you find it hard to maintain that effort... then I will maintain it for you as long as needed.

[Well, no one can say Ferdinand von Aegir isn't a stubborn fool]

It is my duty as a scion of loyalty, is it not?

[rockymountaindie]

How do you keep doin' it? Even if... Even when everything turns out bad?

[markofnobility]

[He opens his mouth, about to give the usual: he is Ferdinand von Aegir. With his skill and will there is nothing he can not, eventually, do!

But they are sharing a moment of emotional weakness. And he finds he does not have that in him right now. Not tonight.]

The truth of it? Practice. If you say something over and over, eventually if just on accident, it comes true occasionally. Built up, brick by brick.

...I will admit, some back home would call me delusional. But I will take a delusional hope any day. I do not know if I could bear otherwise.

[rockymountaindie]

[ ...brick by brick, huh?

Alex is quiet for a stretch. ]

You kind of...have to be a little delusional. When everything's stacked up against you like that.

[markofnobility]

[He chuckles, shrugging]

Well, I do find most realists quite miserable. We could all indulge in a little delusion here and there.

[rockymountaindie]

[ Despite himself, Alex also laughs. It's dry and weak, but it's there. ]

Ya know, back home, most people'd write off all my...everything as that. So I guess just call me the most delusional realist.

[markofnobility]

The realist of us all.

[He huffs softly]

I do... worry, though. I do not doubt the truth of your experience with Death. But... you are so tense at all times.

[rockymountaindie]

[ He lets out a tired huff. ]

Being tense keeps you alive. It's... Sometimes it's like the only thing you can really control.

...That...I can really control.

[markofnobility]

[He nods. He can't really justify trying to TELL him to relax- it's never worked for him either, only making him guilty on top of stressed or restless.]

Fair enough. But if there is anything I can do to ease it, please let me know.

[rockymountaindie]

...Just...keep an eye out for yourself?

[ He looks away. ]

I-I know...Death's not here. [ lol. ] It's not...after everyone else, like it's after me. But, still, I...

I-I worry. About everyone.

[ That's just his problem. He cares too much for his own good. ]

[markofnobility]

[He jerks a thumb to his chest, giving his usual bright smile- though now knowing the truth of it it is possible to see it's... not performative, exactly. But there's something a bit less mindless to it.]

I am Ferdinand von Aegir! Death has already missed it's chance with me, and I will not give it another, I swear it!

[rockymountaindie]

[ A light, sad smile crosses his face. Yeah, he can see the edges now. But that doesn't mean it's any less charming. ]

I'd toast to that. Here's to second chances.

[ And third. And fourth. And...whatever he's on by now. ]

[markofnobility]

To second chances!

[He lifts an imagined glass to tap]

[rockymountaindie]

[ ...Ha. A smirk. He raises his own back. ]

I think... She'd probably say otherwise. But Clear would like you. She tends to like idealists.

[markofnobility]

Clear? A friend of yours?

[rockymountaindie]

My girlfriend.

[markofnobility]

Ah... you must miss her greatly.

[rockymountaindie]

...Yeah. I do. I...I have been missing her. She... We keep each other grounded.

[markofnobility]

Has she... also had to deal with Death?

[Capital D is obvious]

[rockymountaindie]

That's...kind of how we got to know each other.

We'd gone to school together for four years, but...we'd never really talked to each other. Then, I...

[ He frowns a little. He's been kind of cagey about it. But even in vague terms, talking about it with Aglaea had felt good. Being believed felt good. ]

...I had a premonition. That the plane- th- the vehicle we were in, it was gonna explode. Out of everyone there, she was the only one who believed me.